I was really inspired by a friend who told me that his goal is to be ‘Ultimate’. I did not ask him to define what it means, as I immediately felt the uplifting energy and understood what it meant for me. Being Ultimate for me means living my life as joyously as I possibly can. It includes being the best that I can be, without compromising myself and my values, and actualising my highest potential in my human experience.
Having this kind of personal vision can be very empowering and can inspire you to show yourself just how great your potential as a human being is – to do, feel, create, express, heal, change and expand. There is no universal “best”. My best can look very different from your best. But to be your best regardless of what it looks like so that you live your life being your Ultimate Self, there are four things that you can do.
1. Honour Yourself
Self-honouring is a spiritual practice that gets you to see the truth in yourself. As you become aware and get honest about your feelings, you begin to tap into what your true desires are and what is important to you. The first step in honouring yourself is by fully acknowledging the bits in you that want to be recognised. It’s quite common for us to push away painful truths (or what appears to be painful to us) and the more we try to suppress them the more insistent (and hence more painful) they become. The act of acknowledging them takes courage, and courage yields comfort in the end. Acknowledging your truth will bring you a sense of relief and freedom.
The second step in honouring yourself is to act on your truth. That means committing to having your actions reflect what you have acknowledged as your truth. For instance, in your meditation you may have recognised and acknowledged the truth that your relationship with your mother is causing you unhappiness, and that you truly desire to have a more harmonious relationship with her. How can you honour this part of you? If you now know that this is important to you, and you still act in ways that take you further away from what you desire, then you are not honouring yourself. But if you start acting in ways that bring you closer to harmony with your mother, then you are honouring yourself. Even if the result may not be more harmony, you have honoured your truth by acting towards your truth.
2. Overcome Your Fears and Do It!
Fears get in the way of us doing the things we’ve always wanted to do. Things that are in line with our truth – what is important to you to uphold and to express. If you know that it is important for you to create certain experiences but hold yourself back from creating those experiences, then you are not honouring yourself. You are left with a sense of limiting yourself and settling for second best, which has the effect of dampening your spirit. Being Ultimate is a feeling. It makes you feel alive and radiant because you are being the best you can be.
Being Ultimate is not about striving to a standard imposed by someone else – e.g. “You must have at least $100,000 in disposable cash in order to be financially secure,” or “You must sky-dive at least once in your life.” For you, having the feeling of financial security may not require $100,000, and experiencing an adrenaline rush by jumping off a plane may not be important to you. For you, being Ultimate may be to draw a monthly income of $5,000, or creating a meditation sanctuary in your home.
Yet it is not even about striving to your own standards. You can be Ultimate before you achieve any of those things, because you can experience the feelings of being Ultimate while being in creativity towards those ends – when you know on a profound level that you have absolutely every potential to achieve them and you are enjoying the ride to that destination.
Sometimes, the idea of achieving something feels intimidating because we focus on the long road ahead. Understanding that the end is in every step of the way on that road can eradicate a lot of the fears about not reaching that destination or what might happen when you finally reach it. The road isn’t long when you know that every step along the way is worth celebrating. Every step is already a success, and so you needn’t be fearful about not succeeding. Knowing that every step on the road is worth celebrating allows you to perceive the journey as a joyful ride rather than a dreaded task that you must endure before reaching the final destination. By removing the stark contrast between journey and destination (sudden change from a constricted state to an expanded state), it removes the natural fears we have about change. Small victories must be celebrated in the present time, as you are experiencing it, not as an accumulation in the future. The expansive feelings that come from it is what makes you feel Ultimate.
3. Stretch Yourself
Staying in your comfort zone will not make you Ultimate. When you can sense your true potential and crave to see that potential actualised, there is a build-up of creative tension that seems to pull you away from your comfort zone. You then choose to do one of two things.
(i) You fight to stay in your comfort zone, and that means having to fight against your inner truth. You try to ignore or minimise the feelings in you that guide you to a better place, not trusting yourself to follow that guidance. This may make you feel more comfortable superficially, but your soul yearns to grow and it can give you deeper feelings of discontent within yourself.
(ii) You stretch yourself by moving away from your comfort zone and following the pull of the creative tension. You allow yourself to feel the discomfort of being outside your comfort zone and you relish the fulfilment that comes from having stretched yourself.
Staying in your comfort zone consists of doing the same things that don’t work for you anymore. Getting out of your comfort zone means doing something new or doing the same thing differently. There’s an old shamanic technique to cultivate the habit of stretching yourself where you consciously choose to do the opposite of what you normally do, for every activity within a day. It may include walking backwards out of your apartment! (or choosing not to leave your apartment if that is a habit)
4. Believe In Yourself
When you have an unwavering conviction of who you are, you can believe in yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses, and accept them. This gives you a strong sense of yourself, without which you cannot feel secure about the person you are expressing. It dillutes the energy you are expressing; because when you doubt yourself you hold back from expressing yourself fully and freely. The upshot is you shortchange or compromise yourself, leaving you with less-than feelings (not Ultimate).
The way out of doubting yourself is to hold on to something you believe in yourself, no matter how small that is right now. As you continue to hold on to it, you can experience it growing. At the same time, allow your actions to reflect this part of you, as if you have complete trust in it. With every expression, you increase your sense of belief about this part of you and by extension your whole self. Keep doing this until you build your self-belief to the level of Ultimate.
Your Ultimate Self isn’t who you are in the future. You can be your Ultimate Self now, no matter how ‘imperfect’ your external world is right now. Allow yourself to be Ultimate now and watch your world change to give you more opportunities to feel Ultimate. You don’t need to accomplish more or do more healing to be deserving of being Ultimate. You have a better chance of accomplishing and healing more when you are being your Ultimate Self.
Most likely, you have an idea of what your Ultimate Self looks like and how it would feel if you were Ultimate. Imagine being your best self and step into this person. Experience all the feelings of being your Ultimate Self – the feelings of power, abundance, beauty, joy, connectedness, freedom, radiance, vibrancy and peace. Simply enjoy the fulfilment of being Ultimate.