Archive for category: Addictions

Are You Addicted To Worry, Not-Having and Other Negative States?

20 Oct
October 20, 2016

Addicted to Guilt and Negative States

In my work as an addiction therapist, I have helped hundreds of people in overcoming all kinds of addictions.  Usually, when people think of addictions, they think of addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, gambling or internet gaming.  But these more commonly known addictions are just the tip of the iceberg, for beneath these conspicuous behaviours lie another kind of addiction: addiction to non-physical things.

By this, I’m referring to certain emotions or states of being.  The things that can’t be seen on the outside but take place in a person’s inner world. ...keep reading

Arresting The Cycle: How You Can Take Your Power Back And Avert Crisis

21 Nov
November 21, 2014

How to take your power back and avert a crisis - Unusual Wisdom

Nobody likes crises.  Yet most who have survived one would be able to tell you that they gained something valuable from the experience and how it’s made them better persons.  I believe that crises often happen to help steer us back on the path that is aligned with our soul:

Sometimes, it happens after we’ve failed to see and follow repeated signals that our soul had been giving us; when anything short of a crisis would not get our attention.

Other times, it happens because the crisis is deemed to be the best way for us to learn specific lessons. ...keep reading

The Day When Suffering Stopped

24 Dec
December 24, 2012

How to end suffering and discover joy with Amyra Mah
I was in a session with a client at my centre the other day when I witnessed the precise moment when suffering ended.  It was breathtaking.  In that moment, I saw the endless grasping –  the controlling, fixing, righting what’s not right, perfecting what’s imperfect, knowing what’s not known, searching for answers – STOP.

In my work as an addiction therapist, my job is to lead people to the edge of the door beyond which lies their heart waiting to awaken, and guide them to travel through that door and emerge the other side as their authentic self. ...keep reading

Addiction For Human Drama: Are You Addicted to Stress, Anxiety and Dramas?

24 Aug
August 24, 2011

Are You Addicted to Dramas? - Unusual Wisdom

A common scenario when I’m working with a client – whether they are dealing with addictions, eating disorder, weight issues or relationship problems – is listening to how their life has gotten out-of-control and the resulting stress and anxiety they battle with.  They want to get rid of these uncomfortable symptoms, and I understand that.  But sometimes, I notice that the client does not actually want to give up their dramas.  “I just want to have a peaceful life,” they say with a  heavy sigh.  Yet I may sense in them an attachment to living a highly-strung, chaotic life. ...keep reading

Unleashing Creativity Without Using Drugs

16 Jun
June 16, 2010

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There is a belief among many whose profession lies in churning out creative works that drugs enable them to tap into their creative well, that without drugs they could never produce the works that have earned them their professional recognition.  Writers, musicians, artists whose lifestyles involve indulging in too much drugs and alcohol usually find it a huge struggle to give up the substance they’ve become addicted to when they embark on stopping their subtance abuse.  This is the main challenge for every ‘creative type’ individual I have worked with in addiction. ...keep reading

Why People Are Driven To Destroy Themselves

18 Mar
March 18, 2010

Trees with Purple Flowers, Kanchanaburi, Thailand
One of the themes that often come up when dealing with addictions is the tendency for self-destruction – when the drive to use drugs, alcohol or other compulsive activities renders a person unable to stop that behaviour but to spiral faster and faster into destroying himself.  Why do some people seem to have this need to destroy themselves?  What can they do to break out of this obsessive drive that seems to grip them so powerfully?

Whether a person is dealing with an obsession with drugs, alcohol, money, sex or food, the nature of this obsession is the same.  The greed for more (in quantity, frequency and intensity) escalates as the person breaks down more and more boundaries that have previously defined what kept him safe.  These boundaries may relate to the physical body (what is and isn’t acceptable for what we do to our body), social circle (who is and isn’t appropriate for us to hang out with), our moral codes (what behaviours we will and won’t accept from ourselves), and our dignity (what we will and won’t tolerate from others).  Deep in the throes of addiction, gripped by obsession, we cross that line again and again, pushing our boundaries further and further away from us. ...keep reading

Do Not Be Perplexed…. Be In Awe

02 Dec
December 2, 2009

I consider myself very privileged to be in a position to facilitate spiritual awakenings for clients who are open to develop their spirituality.  It’s such an honour to be part of someone’s awakening process and so humbling to witness the growth of a soul.  A lot of our clients are highly-accomplished professionals and successful businesspeople who are left-brain dominant; whilst their structured, analytical minds have aided in their professional success, it’s an obstacle when it comes to emotional healing.  Hence, we often spend quite a lot of time breaking through their tendencies to intellectualise the process so that they can deepen into the realm where true healings can take place. ...keep reading

How Good Can You Stand?

10 Sep
September 10, 2009

Many of my clients with addiction problems have asked why they often drink or use drugs when things are going well for them.  “I can understand if I’d been feeling bad,” they say, “but why is it that when things are good I’d start using again?”  There are many reasons and I am going to offer my views focusing on the aspects which I find particularly interesting.

Sometimes, we use the excuse of wanting to celebrate to go on a binge and end up abusing ourselves.  This is not what I am addressing; here, the celebratory mood is likely to be forced just because we want an excuse to embark on our self-abusing behaviour.  What I am addressing is when your life genuinely starts to look good and you’re feeling good, and then you choose an unhealthy habit and you end up sabotaging yourself. ...keep reading

Focusing On Good Things

28 Apr
April 28, 2009

A few months ago during clinical supervision, I brought up some personal issues for discussion with my therapist.  He pointed out that I had been coming from scarcity rather than abundance.  Since then, I’ve been working on focusing more on the gifts in situations that appear to be negative.  Through the process, I discovered how easy it is to let myself slip and get caught up in negativity.

That’s why a consistent practice of nurturing our mental-emotional wellbeing is so vital in managing stress levels and ensuring that we maintain a good presence of mind to deal with the normal stresses of life.  The danger of over-exerting ourselves is that we can convince ourselves we can handle more than we’re capable of.  Excesses in lifestyle such as over-consumption of ‘good food’, substance abuse, over-working, over-sleeping or any self-harming activities can go on for years before we realise the toil it has taken on us.  By then, we’re likely to have set into a very negative mindset, because such excesses tend to sap us of any energy left to nurture ourselves properly. ...keep reading

The Transformational Effects Of Remorse

28 Dec
December 28, 2008

In my work as an addiction counsellor, I often encounter issues of shame behind substance abuse.  The influence of shame on self-destructive habits looks something like this:

A person grew up with a belief that he is unworthy, damaged or a bad person.  He struggles with the pain and fear generated by this underlying belief and attempts to invalidate the belief through his actions and behaviours.  At the same time, because he has not reconciled his fear of this belief, he tends to perpetuate acts that substantiate the belief. ...keep reading