Last night, I watched a film in the centre’s movie room. As I settled on the couch, I proceeded to eat a Mars Bar and buttered popcorn. Halfway through the movie, I was struck by how relaxed and free I am about my eating now. It’s been years since I’d thought anything about it, since I’d obsessed about everything I ate.
Eating a Mars Bar without calculating the kind of ‘damage’ it could have on my body is so liberating. I have been on countless diets in the past, obsessively counting calories, carb portions, fat grams, weighing myself, measuring myself, scaring myself with the imagined effects food could have on my body shape – wrecking my sense of self-worth with massive guilt and self-beating, and then neutralising the effects with diet pills, stimulants and appetite suppresants.