One of the reasons why we fail to create lasting changes in our lives is we tend to focus on what is not-yet ‘perfect’ and using that as an excuse to sabotage our progress. We tend to begin a process of change expecting to wake up one day with all our internal conflicts gone overnight. It’s called a “process” because it is an ongoing journey of healing parts of ourselves. But most of us expect our issues to disappear within a short time, and when we see that we’re still struggling, we consider ourselves to have failed. So we go back to our old habits or old structure – full on – because “it’s all or nothing”.
Tag Archive for: All-Or-Nothing
In the rehab centre where I work, it’s been pointed out to me that I tend to leave my coffee cups all over the place instead of putting them from where I’d taken them. I started putting them back to their appropriate places, but then found myself wanting to leave cups at the pool, common bathrooms, etc. I caught myself thinking it a few times, which prompted me to look closer behind it.
Clearly, it comes from a rebellious streak to do something that is considered a breach of what is acceptable to the authority or within an institution. A minor thing to leave my cup where it doesn’t belong, perhaps, but it comes from the same place as someone who expresses their rebelliousness through substance abuse. I believe that everyone has a rebellious tendency in them; it’s a self-balancing mechanism to correct any imbalance arising from suppressing our expression in some area of our life.