Tag Archive for: Changing Beliefs

When Failure Is Success

30 Sep
September 30, 2013

Overcoming Fear of Taking the Risk of Failing with Amyra Mah
I was talking to a friend about the show she gave as a performance artist and telling her how much I admired her bravery in giving such a raw performance.  She said that stepping onto the stage was huge for her growth; as a perfectionist, she wanted everything to go perfectly.  “I failed… many times,” she said.  “But of course, that was my success.”  I felt shivers.

That last statement was a big inspiration to me.  Suddenly, I saw how often so many of us stop ourselves from doing the thing we love to do, just because we refuse to take the risk of failing.  We hold on so strongly to ‘succeeding’ in a certain way, as the only way, so much so that we end up depriving ourselves of seeing our dream manifested.

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How Good Can You Stand?

10 Sep
September 10, 2009

Many of my clients with addiction problems have asked why they often drink or use drugs when things are going well for them.  “I can understand if I’d been feeling bad,” they say, “but why is it that when things are good I’d start using again?”  There are many reasons and I am going to offer my views focusing on the aspects which I find particularly interesting.

Sometimes, we use the excuse of wanting to celebrate to go on a binge and end up abusing ourselves.  This is not what I am addressing; here, the celebratory mood is likely to be forced just because we want an excuse to embark on our self-abusing behaviour.  What I am addressing is when your life genuinely starts to look good and you’re feeling good, and then you choose an unhealthy habit and you end up sabotaging yourself.

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Reconciling The Tension Of Temptation

01 Apr
April 1, 2008

Every now and then, I hear of someone who’s on a diet and refuses to eat out with her friends because she’s afraid of yielding to temptation.  Or the ex-smoker or drinker who no longer socialises with his buddies to stay away from temptation.

While I agree that the best environment for kicking an addiction is one that is removed from temptation (and probably essential in the early stages), that temptation must eventually be dealt with too, for the addiction to be completely healed.

The objects of addiction – drugs, alchohol, TV, internet, porn, food – will always be around, somewhere in our world.  We can’t control their whereabouts nor wipe out their existence.  If your abstinence is dependent on the absence of these things, then it follows that if they surfaced you would fall back to your addiction.

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