The Bangkok Post featured a two-page story about our centre last weekend. In the interview with me, the first question I was asked was, “What’s it like to work with VIPs and stars?” I was rather disappointed as I was hoping that the writer would want to know more about the therapeutic process for our clients. Although I managed to bridge the question to some of what I’d wanted to convey, I was left feeling that I would have liked to be able to share more of what the internal processes entail in the road to recovery and self-growth.
It turned out to be a bit of a sensationalitic piece. From a marketing perspective, it is great PR. As a former marketing and media member, I appreciate the thought. As a therapist, however, my primary focus is on helping people to reconcile their internal struggles. I have a passionate drive to share what I’ve observed, and personally experienced, to be keys to liberating ourselves from our mental imprisonment. Then I remembered, this is why I have created this blog! Here, I am free to share to my heart’s content – without the constraints of news angles and deadlines.
What I really like to share today is something that sounds very simple, yet can be extremely difficult to put into practice. If you do, it can bring you a powerful shift, heal long-held pains, and open up your world. The technique is this: own up to how you are really feeling about a situation. For any healing or self-development to take place, we must first be willing to be honest with ourselves. Real change cannot occur if you hold back from admitting to yourself the feelings you are really feeling.
People can spend years working on a specific issue without breaking through to a real level of growth. They profess to want change, yet are unable to see any real and lasting changes in their lives. Often, you’ll find that there is something that the person has not been totally honest about. Not even to themselves. They expend a lot of energy trying to push away a feeling that keeps wanting to be acknowledged. But the feeling only grows the more it is suppressed.
We tend to push away painful feelings, we try not to feel them fully, for several reasons.
1. You’re afraid of the intensity of the feeling should you admit to it. Trust me, the more you try to push it away, the more painful and prolonged it is going to be. Admitting to your pain may make you feel the pain fully in the short term, but as long as you stay with it, without any resistance, it will ease off eventually.
2. You’re afraid of losing something should you admit to it. Usually it is tied to an egoistical motivation – the need to be validated, to feel superior, to have more, to hoard something or someone. There’s a need to hold on to something or a belief around it, to the extent that you compromise your trust with yourself. If you’re fighting against your truth, you no longer can trust yourself.
3. You’re too embarassed to admit how you’re really feeling. What if people knew this is how I feel? You project the shame of being judged, so you hide your truth. If you deny it to yourself, you won’t have to face the possibility of your truth being out in the open where people can judge you. You’ve jumped ahead of yourself. Start with the step of being honest with yourself. When you can feel the benefit of it, you can decide whether or not you want to share it with other people. Things will change for you once you can be honest with yourself.
What happens when you admit to yourself how you’re really feeling? You will be able to experience the emotion fully. That’s all it is. Experience it on the emotional level, even if it is tied to a thought, idea or belief. You may experience it as a wave of pain, a prickling sensation or a rush of heat coursing through your body. Completely let go of your resistance and allow yourself to feel the movement of pain. Breathe in the truth of it. Stay with the discomfort until it naturally subsides.
When you stop resisting, a lot of your energy will come back to you. You may even feel an instant rush of energy, or you may experience the return of energy in some other way – such as a deep relief/inner relaxation or a noticeable change in vibes around you.
Truth cuts through the bullshit, creating a door out of your Prison Of Lies. If it’s something you’ve been denying for a long time, being honest about your feelings will change your life. Even if you choose to keep your truth from others, I recommend that you commit to being as honest as possible with yourself. Hopefully, with practice, you will, like me, grow to enjoy the process and the results.