• Superwoman Under Stress: How to Overcome Over-Responsibility and Guilt

    I have encountered, through my work, many professionally successful women who struggle with immensely stressful lives.  It seems that they are pulled in so many directions that they’re breaking under the strain of their responsibilities.  They feel trapped in a life of unhappiness where every day is just about making it through the day with what little’s left of their energy reserve.  Having a successful career seems to come at a price, and this is especially true if you’re a woman.

    Whilst a lot of men’s issues can be traced to an unwillingness to grow up and be responsible, many … Keep reading

  • Lying In The Bed You Made

    Bed in Hotel in Koh Chang, Thailand

    The other day, someone was telling me about an undesirable situation he was in and I asked him why he was choosing to remain in it.  He said he has made his bed and now he has to lie in it.  This brings to mind something that I often come across when looking at the complexities about being in a state of suffering: how we can trap ourselves in suffering by doing nothing to reconcile the conflicts that give rise to the suffering.

    We might try to change things superficially within the situation, hoping it will bring improvement, but … Keep reading

  • Become Your Ultimate Self

    I was really inspired by a friend who told me that his goal is to be ‘Ultimate’. I did not ask him to define what it means, as I immediately felt the uplifting energy and understood what it meant for me. Being Ultimate for me means living my life as joyously as I possibly can. It includes being the best that I can be, without compromising myself and my values, and actualising my highest potential in my human experience.

    Having this kind of personal vision can be very empowering and can inspire you to show yourself just how great your … Keep reading

  • “Accept The Unacceptable”

    Accept the Unacceptable – Amyra Mah, Unusual Wisdom

    I was watching an animated movie about Doctor Strange, the Marvel Comics creation.  It was my first introduction to the character and I was fascinated by the world of sorcery portrayed in the story.  The movie depicts how Dr Stephen Strange, a successful surgeon, who after injuring his hands in an accident finds his way to a monastery in Tibet where he is trained by The Ancient One to be a powerful sorcerer.  Lots of spiritual lessons reflected in the movie, especially in the doctor’s early training when he has to move past the pain of his loss, guilt … Keep reading

  • Why People Are Driven To Destroy Themselves

    One of the themes that often come up when dealing with addictions is the tendency for self-destruction – when the drive to use drugs, alcohol or other compulsive activities renders a person unable to stop that behaviour but to spiral faster and faster into destroying himself.  Why do some people seem to have this need to destroy themselves?  What can they do to break out of this obsessive drive that seems to grip them so powerfully?

    Whether a person is dealing with an obsession with drugs, alcohol, money, sex or food, the nature of this obsession is the same.  The … Keep reading

  • Simplicity Is The Way To Go

    I’ve been asked what my resolution is for 2010, so I will share it here.  For the record, I have stopped making new year resolutions some years ago.  I had found that the long list I tended to come up with too depressing after a while.  Too much unnecessary pressure, as if life did not present enough on my plate already!  I’ve since taken the route of flowing with whatever life presents, whatever time of the year it is.  This year, if I were to come up with one resolution, it would be to keep every area of my life … Keep reading

  • The Transformational Effects Of Remorse

    In my work as an addiction counsellor, I often encounter issues of shame behind substance abuse.  The influence of shame on self-destructive habits looks something like this:

    A person grew up with a belief that he is unworthy, damaged or a bad person.  He struggles with the pain and fear generated by this underlying belief and attempts to invalidate the belief through his actions and behaviours.  At the same time, because he has not reconciled his fear of this belief, he tends to perpetuate acts that substantiate the belief.

    In other words, he is driven to prove this belief wrong … Keep reading