Can Spirituality Bring Real Changes (Or Is It Just A Feel-Good Trick)?
How to awaken from the hypnosis that makes you avoid spirituality (and therefore, limit yourself)
The veil between the physical and spiritual worlds is thinning fast and dramatically. Meaning, there is no longer a perceived separation between this world and the world beyond. The seen and the unseen are interrelated. “As above, so below” has never been more obvious.
What it means is that to hold on to purely a 3D linear mode of operation, as many still do, is to invite trouble. A rigid attachment to the material world and refusal to entertain there is a world other than it, locks one in a state of decay, since there is little life within the Mirror World to sustain us.
You can look at any aspect of the Mirror-World and see this truth being demonstrated. A business organisation that focuses only on its bottom-line, disregarding the less tangible aspects such as kindness and respect, is heading towards collapse. Employees resigning en masse. Clients being repelled and taking their businesses elsewhere.
Similarly, if you only give importance to tracking the numbers and statistics to define your health, you are ignoring the bigger determinants for the condition of your body. One can follow the perfect diet (if there ever was such a thing) and still fall critically sick, if they ignore addressing the other levels of their being. Resentment and grief are two of the major causes of diseases, for instance. On the other hand, gratitude and self-forgiveness promote wellness.
In relationships, a couple relating to each other solely transactionally will not last. Without the spiritual aspects of a relationship such as emotional connection and an intuitive sense of their partner’s unspoken needs will have little to sustain it. As passion and romance wither, it leads to the individuals feeling bored and uninspired in the relationship. There is virtually no life-force to keep the relationship alive and a separation is inevitable.
All sustenance comes from the spiritual world. You see, the physical world is only a very small part of our entire existential experience: the tip of the iceberg. It is not all that we are, far from it. But we tend to assign all our focus and meaning into this tiny fraction of our existence. That’s why we suffer from drainage and diseases.
A person who only cares about acquiring material possessions and other superficial achievements will never be happy, contented or at peace. But the majority of people fall under this category. Essentially, we are programmed to pursue the superficial at the cost of our spiritual wellbeing.
It doesn’t just come from our society being misguided. Rather, there is a force deliberately derailing us from operating in spirituality. What this force is and where it comes from is not that important. Spending more time to analyse it can result in getting caught up in the mind and being stuck. The drive to find the one, absolute truth is part of the sabotage to keep us stuck in powerlessness.
Instead, you can embrace this concept from a higher consciousness. From that level, it is easy to sense the truth about something. A mere second of connecting with the idea and registering the truth of it is enough to give you the green light to move forward and escape from its spell.
To support you in waking up from the hypnosis – the hypnosis to keep gravitating towards where there is little power, i.e. the 3D linear world – let me alert you to some of the ways we are programmed to reject spirituality. Allow my words to trigger an awakening as dots naturally join as you read.
#1 Fake Spirituality Is Rampant
Spirituality has had a bad rap. People are suspicious about spirituality and rightly so, with the plethora of funny things going on in the communities. To begin with, the stereotypical ‘spiritual folks’ often present themselves as kooky, “having a loose screw”, somewhat ungrounded.
This is actually not far from the truth, if you look at the majority of people who flood these communities. They tend to live a lifestyle that one might assess as lacking in self-responsibility, sometimes to the extent of disregarding physical hygiene. My personal judgements aside, I believe how one chooses to live is their prerogative, as long as they’re not hurting others.
But these individuals and their way of life do not represent what being spiritual really is. Most of what is considered spiritual is false spirituality. False, because there is an emphasis on how they appear to be spiritual, the language they use, the rituals they are seen to perform, etc. I am not saying that if you walk around wearing a robe or conduct a ritual in a public place then you’re a fake spiritual person. These are valid activities. I’m referring to a performative quality in the lifestyle as opposed to truly living it.
True spirituality is an inside job. If you’re not spiritual inside, no amount of spiritual activities you do will make you spiritual. On the contrary, the most spiritual persons I have met are those whom you can’t tell from looking at their lifestyles and outer appearances.
Knowing the distinction between what is truly spiritual and what is false can support a more balanced view about what diving into spirituality can mean for you.
#2 True Spirituality Integrates You
Spirituality is not about escapism. I see most of the communities comprising individuals who are not addressing their issues and using spirituality as an excuse to escape from being responsible, mature adults. As a result, spirituality has become associated with emotional immaturity, unreliability, impracticality, etc.
A truly-spiritual person is more fully-embodied because they have explored and incorporated more pieces of their consciousness into their everyday awareness. This is a culmination of a long road of learning from mistakes, respecting the nuances of healing, self-correcting, moving away from ego, and basically becoming more grounded as a whole. Quite the opposite of what’s commonly being portrayed.
Thus, there is much to be gained from becoming spiritual, despite the stereotypical portrayal that might have put you off.
#3 Toxic, Manipulative Gurus Spoil the Name
Abuse is rife in spiritual communities. It enrages me to see those in positions of being mentors, leaders and teachers (I’ll call them “gurus” from hereon for the sake of convenience) taking advantage of their students, disciples and clients: people who go to them in a vulnerable state, only to be manipulated and abused.
Here are just a few of the manipulative tactics I have seen being used:
“You’re projecting your stuff on me.”
When a guru is called out for their behaviours, they may turn it around and accuse you of ‘projecting’ on them. An excerpt from my book Flowing Through The Void may describe this phenomenon clearly:
Indeed, everything is a projection, but some qualifications need to be stated. It is true that we cannot recognise in others what we don’t recognise in ourselves. Our external world mirrors to us what we see in ourselves. When we react strongly to a quality in another person, it is a sign that we have not accepted that quality in ourselves. On the flipside, if you quietly admire a positive quality in another person, it is a sign that you would like to recognise, appreciate and enjoy that quality in yourself.
But this does not mean that every time you are being judged you should defend yourself by telling that person that they are projecting. For example, if you hit your wife and she judges you to be uncaring and cruel, it is not for you to tell her that she is projecting. It is something else if her close friends point that out to her and she can use it as a tool for her own growth. But it is not your place to do so. Your role in this is to take it on, assess yourself and grow from it.
I’ve seen spiritual teachers who use the “don’t judge me, look at yourself” line whenever they are being called on something dishonest they had done. This is highly irresponsible and a very convenient way of covering their backsides when they’re being caught out. They use the concept loosely and manipulatively to give themselves moral license to conduct in egregious ways.
To add insult to the injury, they do not adhere to the same principle when the tables are turned. I’ve seen people’s lives being wrecked because of the double standards that their teachers have. For example, a teacher may encourage his student to disclose herself fully in all areas of her life. But he himself falls very short of laying everything out into the open. He is often very selective in what he discloses, to manipulate certain responses from people. The teacher may also encourage his students to take major risks, but leaves them dry, without proper support, after steps have been taken. When the students find out that he actually falls behind in taking the same types of risks in his life, the trust is broken, leaving the students feeling disappointed and betrayed, while coping with the consequences of their ill-supported actions.
These kinds of dishonest tactics are a danger to the people who’ve entrusted their lives to the teacher. When you question these individuals, they often slide away or create more confusion to hide behind. No forthright answers or clear explanations will be given by them, because confusing others is their strategy. A clearly-defined concept would hold them accountable and require them to conduct themselves responsibly and honestly towards the people who go to them for guidance.
“But I’ve helped so many people.”
I have had conversations with friends during which I pointed out certain inexcusable behaviours by gurus and gotten this response: at the end of the day though, many people have benefited from their work.
This is poor excuse to me. As if it justifies their bad behaviours. If a guru is making money advocating monogamy but they’re sleeping around while being married, are we supposed to tolerate it just because we have gotten some good results from their teachings?
In my experience, even the most blatantly-abusive and toxic gurus have their loyal fans who stand by them and are willing to give their testimonials. In other words, just because someone has a huge following does not mean they are sound and operating in integrity.
“I’m only human.”
At times, a guru will state that they, just like everybody else, is only human – in justifying their violations.
As a former rehab worker, I have heard of other rehab workers having carnal relations with clients. This is a form of abuse. A rehab is a safe space into which we welcome vulnerable individuals who have come to seek help. Yet it astounds me to find out how few rehab workers actually understand why having sex with clients is such a violation of trust and a compromise of the programme’s integrity. Sure, they are aware of the rules, but deep down they don’t see why it’s such a big deal.
They may also justify it as “being human” or “having normal physical feelings”. Whilst I understand that we are all human and have our flaws and weaknesses, in a structure like a rehab maintaining strict boundaries is non-negotiable.
I am not saying we should all be perfect, but it’s one thing to always be working at being in integrity, even as we sometimes fail, and outrightly taking advantage of those we’re in a position to guide.
These manipulative tactics exist everywhere, not just in spiritual communities. It doesn’t mean you have to give up on places where spiritual people come together. Your awareness about it empowers your discernment.
#4 Sexual Predation Disguised As Sexual Liberation
This is another form of abuse worthy of being a category of its own. There are far too many ‘communes’ where the guru is preaching sexual liberation and diagnosing their disciples as being “sexually blocked”, the healing of which can be granted by sleeping with the guru.
In my view, these gurus are essentially sex addicts, and their communes glorified venues that entrap victims to participate in their orgies masking as some sacred process. Very often, the use of substance is employed to make it easier to manipulate and control the victims.
Substance-use in general is widely-accepted in spiritual communities, so much so that being high on something or tripping on hallucinogenics is inaccurately-associated with spirituality. A truly spiritual person would avoid diluting their consciousness with any substance, knowing that our consciousness is divine and ought to be preserved in its pristine state.
These misrepresentations in the spiritual community are what give rise to aversions in some people towards spirituality, understandably.
Contrary to false spirituality which promotes uninhibition just for the sake of it, without any regard to who they hurt, and the peddling of a culture of irresponsibility in the guise of ‘freedom’ – a truly-spiritual person practices Restraint, which is the act of curbing our animalistic drives, holding ourselves back in dignity and grace, knowing where to draw the line, and a trait very much underestimated.
Rest assured, the facades are cracking. We are in an age of “truth revealed, lies exposed”. No doubt the nonsense that happen in these toxic circles will show themselves to be what they really are in due course.
#5 Is Everything “Spiritual Bypassing”?
In recent years since the concept of “spiritual bypassing” has become a buzzword, those embracing spirituality have been accused of running away from dealing with the reality of our problems. I think this is true for some people, for the reasons I have pointed out in the preceding sections. But it has been unfairly used to label all forms of spirituality as bypassing. Again, I don’t blame them for doing so given the above.
On another level, this concept was introduced as a sabotage to make us judge spirituality through this lens and lump everything into that category, so that we avoid going there. There – the spiritual dimension – is the realm of our power.
Part of what spirituality is, is the acknowledgement of the infinite potentialities for healing and transformation, beyond the 3D, linear way. Being able to access these powerful resources to quicken and deepen our processes is not a form of bypassing. But if you have decided that everything spiritual is bypassing, then you don’t go near it to access those resources.
All the above are part of an agenda to twist the definition of spirituality. To put you off it so that you remain limited.
You may have been tainted by some bad experiences in your expeditions into spirituality. Know that they are not true spirituality. Many who profess to be spiritual are Agents of Darkness, here to sabotage your recognition of who you truly are: an infinite divine being of Light.
Outside of that arena, there exist another dimension of spirituality that is true and pristine. When you know that all those efforts were meant to derail you from accessing your divine power, you can move past those unsavoury encounters, allow the light of your new awareness to rinse off the bad taste in your mouth, and proceed anew, undeterred. All that remains after that is to allow spirituality to demonstrate its wild, supreme manifestation powers in your world.
