Tag Archive for: Addiction

When You Feel You Have Nothing Left

04 May
May 4, 2017

when you have nothing left by Amyra Mah

Almost everyone has had moments in their lives when they feel as if they have run out of resources, solutions, answers.  This may be paired with symptoms of anxiety, depression, addictive behaviours or self-beating patterns.  The bottom line is, you feel stuck, trapped in a place where you don’t want to be, and you can’t see a way out.  In this state, it is easy to conclude that you have nothing left.

It is an illusion that you have exhausted everything you have.  It is simply a state you find yourself in, and it is just one perspective.  Depending on the angle of your perception, that can be true or that can be untrue.  With a slight shift in perspective, you can shift into a whole different reality where suddenly you can see and access so much more.

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Are You Addicted To Worry, Not-Having and Other Negative States?

20 Oct
October 20, 2016

Addicted to Guilt and Negative States

In my work as an addiction therapist, I have helped hundreds of people in overcoming all kinds of addictions.  Usually, when people think of addictions, they think of addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, gambling or internet gaming.  But these more commonly known addictions are just the tip of the iceberg, for beneath these conspicuous behaviours lie another kind of addiction: addiction to non-physical things.

By this, I’m referring to certain emotions or states of being.  The things that can’t be seen on the outside but take place in a person’s inner world.

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Arresting The Cycle: How You Can Take Your Power Back And Avert Crisis

21 Nov
November 21, 2014

How to take your power back and avert a crisis - Unusual Wisdom

Nobody likes crises.  Yet most who have survived one would be able to tell you that they gained something valuable from the experience and how it’s made them better persons.  I believe that crises often happen to help steer us back on the path that is aligned with our soul:

Sometimes, it happens after we’ve failed to see and follow repeated signals that our soul had been giving us; when anything short of a crisis would not get our attention.

Other times, it happens because the crisis is deemed to be the best way for us to learn specific lessons.

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Addiction For Human Drama: Are You Addicted to Stress, Anxiety and Dramas?

24 Aug
August 24, 2011

Are You Addicted to Dramas? - Unusual Wisdom

A common scenario when I’m working with a client – whether they are dealing with addictions, eating disorder, weight issues or relationship problems – is listening to how their life has gotten out-of-control and the resulting stress and anxiety they battle with.  They want to get rid of these uncomfortable symptoms, and I understand that.  But sometimes, I notice that the client does not actually want to give up their dramas.  “I just want to have a peaceful life,” they say with a  heavy sigh.  Yet I may sense in them an attachment to living a highly-strung, chaotic life.

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Why People Are Driven To Destroy Themselves

18 Mar
March 18, 2010

Trees with Purple Flowers, Kanchanaburi, Thailand
One of the themes that often come up when dealing with addictions is the tendency for self-destruction – when the drive to use drugs, alcohol or other compulsive activities renders a person unable to stop that behaviour but to spiral faster and faster into destroying himself.  Why do some people seem to have this need to destroy themselves?  What can they do to break out of this obsessive drive that seems to grip them so powerfully?

Whether a person is dealing with an obsession with drugs, alcohol, money, sex or food, the nature of this obsession is the same.  The greed for more (in quantity, frequency and intensity) escalates as the person breaks down more and more boundaries that have previously defined what kept him safe.  These boundaries may relate to the physical body (what is and isn’t acceptable for what we do to our body), social circle (who is and isn’t appropriate for us to hang out with), our moral codes (what behaviours we will and won’t accept from ourselves), and our dignity (what we will and won’t tolerate from others).  Deep in the throes of addiction, gripped by obsession, we cross that line again and again, pushing our boundaries further and further away from us.

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Focusing On Good Things

28 Apr
April 28, 2009

A few months ago during clinical supervision, I brought up some personal issues for discussion with my therapist.  He pointed out that I had been coming from scarcity rather than abundance.  Since then, I’ve been working on focusing more on the gifts in situations that appear to be negative.  Through the process, I discovered how easy it is to let myself slip and get caught up in negativity.

That’s why a consistent practice of nurturing our mental-emotional wellbeing is so vital in managing stress levels and ensuring that we maintain a good presence of mind to deal with the normal stresses of life.  The danger of over-exerting ourselves is that we can convince ourselves we can handle more than we’re capable of.  Excesses in lifestyle such as over-consumption of ‘good food’, substance abuse, over-working, over-sleeping or any self-harming activities can go on for years before we realise the toil it has taken on us.  By then, we’re likely to have set into a very negative mindset, because such excesses tend to sap us of any energy left to nurture ourselves properly.

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The Transformational Effects Of Remorse

28 Dec
December 28, 2008

In my work as an addiction counsellor, I often encounter issues of shame behind substance abuse.  The influence of shame on self-destructive habits looks something like this:

A person grew up with a belief that he is unworthy, damaged or a bad person.  He struggles with the pain and fear generated by this underlying belief and attempts to invalidate the belief through his actions and behaviours.  At the same time, because he has not reconciled his fear of this belief, he tends to perpetuate acts that substantiate the belief.

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Reconciling The Tension Of Temptation

01 Apr
April 1, 2008

Every now and then, I hear of someone who’s on a diet and refuses to eat out with her friends because she’s afraid of yielding to temptation.  Or the ex-smoker or drinker who no longer socialises with his buddies to stay away from temptation.

While I agree that the best environment for kicking an addiction is one that is removed from temptation (and probably essential in the early stages), that temptation must eventually be dealt with too, for the addiction to be completely healed.

The objects of addiction – drugs, alchohol, TV, internet, porn, food – will always be around, somewhere in our world.  We can’t control their whereabouts nor wipe out their existence.  If your abstinence is dependent on the absence of these things, then it follows that if they surfaced you would fall back to your addiction.

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