At the start of 2021, one of the messages I channeled from Spirit is that we have to break our trauma and abuse programme, once and for all. It is the biggest blockage to us rising in our Illuminance, restoring our divine template, and waking up to our full powers.
We all have this programme in our system. From a higher perspective, it is set up that way so that we can reap the greatest yield, through our path of healing and eventually rediscovering our true innate nature: We are whole, divine perfection, infinitely powerful.
From a young age, we were bound to experience some form of abuse, no matter if the perpetrators were intentional or otherwise. Eventhough as eternal spirits we are indestructible, when housed in human form our young bodies were weak and vulnerable, and therefore, at the mercy of adult humans. Even as adults, we were still vulnerable to other people’s whims and agendas. Relationships are fraught with abuse and can contribute to some of our greatest traumas.
Most of us have been subjected to multiple forms of abuse and the resultant trauma – at varying degrees. But the real travesty is not how and how much trauma and abuse we have lived through, it is in how long we perpetuate the template of trauma and abuse LONG AFTER the events are over.
The programme of trauma and abuse is insidious. It evades and deflects from being spotted, driven to preserve itself at all cost. In many cases, trauma and abuse from past lives are carried through to this lifetime. Unknowingly, we continue to let ourselves be abused and traumatised over and over again….
Until we wake up from this programme. When we do, we remember the divine perfection that we are, become free from the prison of this programme and change the course of our lives for the better.
Unfortunately, it is rare that someone would spontaneously wake up from the hypnosis formed by trauma and abuse, even rarer that someone would completely heal from it. The good news, however, is today we are being supported cosmically to heal at an unprecedented level. This is the level of healing that I am called to facilitate for the world at this time.
Before I show you what you can do to break your trauma-abuse programme, let me encapsulate what it actually is and how it has come about.
The Dynamics Within A Trauma-Abuse Programme
As a result of trauma and abuse, we learned two major things:
- The world is not safe.
- The world does not have enough.
These give rise to various behavioural issues, including:
- Trust issues.
- Fear of being close to others.
- Rejection and abandonment issues.
- A pattern of being in toxic relationships.
- Problems with lacking resources, real or imagined.
- People-pleasing, compromising own values, selling out, not speaking up. Or the flipside, being rebellious, argumentative, belligerent.
- Tolerating vagueness and ambiguity, not addressing “the elephant in the room”.
- Addictions, mirroring an underlying sense that nothing will ever be enough.
- Unable to stay still, keeps running away and seeking distractions.
- Chronic self-sabotage patterns.
Additionally, they can manifest as metaphysical blocks, such as:
- blocks to success and accomplishments, where everything can seem like a struggle.
- Frequently feeling tired and drained.
- Over-sensitivity to other people’s opinions about you.
- Health issues that are ‘mysterious’, that do not have physiological causes.
- Seemingly always running into bad luck; “nothing is easy, everything is hard”.
The Mechanics of Trauma and Abuse
Trauma forces us to seek resources in creative ways. We are driven to be resourceful in order to survive. Our survival was at stake (even if not objectively, to our subjective minds it was a matter of life and death). We learn to manipulate the people around us as a coping strategy. Very often, it means don’t speak up, don’t do anything to rock the boat, only say or do the things to maintain the illusion of safety. Since unpredictability is extremely traumatising, we adopt these tactics to try to maintain some form of predictability. In the face of not having any resources left, we “sell our soul” to gain love, approval and validation (perceived as currencies for safety).
These behaviours become so entrenched in us that we act them out automatically, long after we are no longer in the same situations. Although some of these behaviours can arguably be said to be useful, a form of ‘street smarts’, very often they can cause major problems in one’s life.
The template of trauma and abuse causes us to be retraumatised – putting us in the path of those who would be abusive and mistreat us. Cheating, scamming, betraying. Medical procedures that leave you feeling abused. People screaming at you, making you feel attacked. Each time your system is retraumatised, it deepens existing trauma.
This dynamic will keep playing out until your programme is broken. Most people will tolerate their lives being in this state, complaining about and trying to fix the symptoms of “bad energy”, “bad luck” and “toxic people” without really solving the underlying issue. They are tolerating it and not really making deep changes (often due to the insidious nature of the programme itself). By tolerating subtly abusive treatments, you are turning on a beacon that attracts others to mistreat you. So the cycle continues.
These are signs of a shrouded individual. If you recognise yourself in some of these behaviours, you too are shrouded and on the verge of merging back to your divine perfection. I want you to know there is no shame in being shrouded. The path of transforming from shrouded to awakened and free is a very sacred journey.
Going the Next Level: True Freedom and Bliss
The work in this section is especially for those who have done extensive work on themselves and believe they are mostly healed from their trauma and abuse, but are still under the hypnosis of trauma-abuse programme. This programme causes them to act out negatively in ways that are quite subtle yet restricts the full expression of their divine nature.
These processes target the programme from different angles and at different levels. It is not necessary that they are done in this order. Go with your intuition for where to start. You can do more than one process at the same time.
Process #1 – Stop Tolerating Vagueness
There’s a lot of power when you come to a point of saying, “No more!” When you wake up from the hypnosis of trauma-abuse programme, and DECIDE to not be governed by it anymore.
One clue pointing to you being governed by this programme is a pattern of allowing other people to get away with treating you less-than-honourably. Tolerating abuses by making excuses for others. Having misplaced compassion and “taking the high road”. Thinking it is love when it is enabling and co-dependency. Telling yourself it is not spiritual to say no or to call out someone. Feeling bad about asking direct questions to clarify situations.
You may be tolerating vagueness and ambiguity because you don’t want to rock the boat. It may have come from earlier days of being in danger and not calling attention to yourself.
These behaviours of concealing the truth because some part of you dread the consequences of facing the truth will keep your trauma stuck. It cannot heal, and you are feeding the programme.
Decide to shift away from this pattern – to no longer do your part of keeping the trauma-abuse programme alive, limiting you from true happiness and success.
Anywhere you are less than free and in bliss, you have allowed yourself to still be governed by trauma and abuse.
Ask yourself these important questions:
Where might I be tolerating abuses?
With whom am I tolerating mistreatments?
When asking yourself these questions, make sure you are looking closely for subtle mistreatments. These can be more harmful than outright abusive treatments, as they can convince you that the problem lies with you and not the abuser.
Spend some time filtering your relationships, friendships, projects, situations through the lens of your trauma-abuse programming. Am I reacting from my traumatised-abused self in these situations? It can be empowering to notice and realise you have given in to the programme all this time.
Your gut feelings will inform you where something isn’t right. If you ignore your gut feelings, the situation will silently eat at you.
Am I not standing my ground because of my people-pleasing or conflict avoidance?
Is it my traumatised self that is choosing this response? Knowing this, how would I act, behave and choose if I’m coming from my healed, whole self?
Get clear. No more tolerating vagueness in relationships and about situations. Start asking others questions to clarify their intentions before ‘getting in bed’ with them. I know that some people may be duplicitious but your action to change the way you respond is where the power is, not the actual outcome.
By tolerating it, you are participating in and giving consent to the duplicity. It does not align with you being your illuminant self, as it contradicts the nature of illuminance. This is partly why being stuck in trauma and abuse is the biggest blockage to the rising of your Illuminant Soul.
One important caveat: When speaking up, refrain from coming from a place of “I am right and they are wrong” as that can simply perpetuate the programme. The power of truth and clarity comes from conveying something lovingly, not with harshness and confrontations. The power it refers to is what I call “quiet power”. It is to be done with the intention to open up to more understanding and love. Of course, if the other party is showing hostility, it may be appropriate to be forceful.
When stepping up to get clear, it is also vital to get clear about your self-abusive tendencies. The things you’ve been tolerating – vagueness, mistreatments from others, putting up with low standards – can be a form of self-abuse. This may be where trauma and abuse energy is concealed in your system.
Caution: I am not talking about being rigidly controlling. If you are already exhibiting controlling behaviours, such as always asking others questions and having the need to be precise and accurate all the time, that is another set of behaviours arising from trauma and abuse. Go to Process #4 for tips to heal this imbalance. It is quite common that we have both extremes in our behaviours; just becoming more aware of your patterns will put you in good stead.
Process #2 – Move Away From the Anguish of Injustice
I have seen how people can get stuck in the feelings of injustice. This is when you have an intense desire for your viewpoint of being wronged to be validated by the world. It is the voice of the traumatised child that screams out for her plight to be recognised – to be told she is right and they are wrong.
Whilst these feelings are valid, understandable, and may even be a necessary part of your healing, staying in injustice prolongs the trauma state, so that you won’t heal further. Operating from “the world is not enough” as a result of trauma, you not only perceive that the world does not have enough resources to go around but also that there is a lack of goodwill in the world. Unknowingly, you may go about the world with great mistrust demanding, “Prove it! Prove it!” which sets you up for constant disappointment and leaving your wounds unhealed.
Allow this veiled agenda within you to emerge into the light of your awareness. It will help raise you out of the level of stuckness, to a higher perspective where healing can happen. If you find yourself reacting with, “I already knew this, it’s nothing new,” then it is your trauma-abuse programme trying to block healing from going further. Stay present in your awareness. Allow your awareness itself to be the healing force.
Give up this agenda. Gently shift away from your protective ego to your spirit.
If you’re truly not ready for this, then allow yourself one last, deliberate purging of your sense of injustice out of your system, in whatever form works for you. Screaming out the unfairness. Breaking something physical. Journalling it. Talking to a non-judgemental friend about it (make sure you set it up clearly so that you are being listened to without being given unsolicited advice). Once you have gotten it off your chest, take your power back by withdrawing the expectation you have placed on others to validate your injustice.
Are you waiting for that one person to acknowledge their wrongdoing and to say they are sorry? Whilst it can be very healing to have real and honest discussions about our hurts leading to such a scenario, it can sometimes be more empowering for us to decide to take our power back from having the insistence that this acknowledgement and apology must arrive. Take your power back; give to yourself that energy you’re expecting, instead of placing that power in the hands of another.
Decide to start embodying your healed self. This does not invalidate your victimisation. Rather, it acknowledges another aspect of you that concurrently exists, one that is not traumatised but whole and cannot be tainted by anything that has happened to you. As you acknowledge this other aspect of you, the victimised self can begin to mature into also a healed aspect of you.
If you find this process particularly challenging, doing the next process can help shift it.
Process #3 – Validate Your Victimisation
Is it very common for victims of abuse to turn the blame on ourselves. Being caught in self-blame is one of the most damaging consequences of trauma and abuse. Sometimes, the victim is directly given the message that they are to blame, as part of the programming.
This programming runs deep; even after years of someone believing they are freed from trauma and abuse. On a deeper level, they are still afflicted by the guilt and shame from blaming themselves for what had happened.
Self-blame, unaddressed, could prevent further healing. It can cause you to over-compensate by focusing excessively on injustice – which as you have seen in Process #2 is where a lot of people get stuck – when the pain of self-blame drives you to project blame outside of yourself.
Although at the highest level of creation we create everything in our reality, this process requires you to come down to the story-level* and truly see that you were an innocent victim in the story. You were not at fault. Even if there was a choice you made that might have placed you in the situation, it does not mitigate the action of the perpetrator. The act itself was wrong.
*Read this post to understand the concept of levels of consciousness.
Spend a few moments honouring this. Stay present to this, breathing through it, until you start shifting away from blaming yourself. This, as with the other processes, cannot be rushed. Give yourself however long it needs to take for the healing to take place, and how long it takes differ from person to person. Honouring your unique timing is an important part of your healing as a whole.
Process #4 – Allow Healing to Take Place
One of the effects of trauma and abuse is an underlying panic beneath the surface just waiting to be roused. These sensations of trauma are so uncomfortable that we will do anything to avoid living through it again. When faced with the threat of this energy rising to the surface, we may distract ourselves by numbing out or creating chaos and conflicts. Addictions commonly follow.
Overtime, we become tolerant to it, accustomed to not noticing them anymore. But these sensations are palpable; if you were to pay attention to the sensations in you, you will feel them. They can show up as a noticable yet elusive pain, a throbbing pain that doesn’t come from any specific area in your body, a feeling of dread, doom and darkness.
These sensations will intensify whenever trauma is triggered, becoming hot, prickly, boiling, acidic. These are the toxic feelings of the energy of trauma.
In healing back to wholeness, the energy itself needs to be healed. You need to allow healing to touch this raw place you are concealing. It means slow down, be present to the moment, stop the running-away. Healing can only happen if you stay here. Peel off the band-aid which is the numbing and distractions, and allow the wound to heal, once and for all. Create moments of do-nothing and let healing take place.
When uncomfortable feelings are present, allow it, without numbing out or distracting yourself. The context is different now – you’re no longer in the same setting, you are safe. Breathe and notice that you are still here, still alive, nothing bad has happened apart from some bad feelings. By stretching yourself this way, you allow yourself to see through the illusion of danger and wake up from the hypnosis.
Allow yourself to sink deeper into the here and now. Sense where you have blocked yourself from relaxing, and relax more. Do it as an act that reflects the context you are in now. Allow spaciousness. Let the light of divinity fill and touch the new space created.
Another way to create space for healing is easing up on the things you are being too hard on yourself – where you’re expecting too much or too highly of yourself. This rigid, unrelenting standard imposed on yourself can seal off space and become a block for healing. Settle for a more relaxed, compromised form now instead of demanding perfection.
Healing the Abuser Template
When we go beyond tolerating the ‘tolerable’ level of abuse and do the work to be truly liberated from trauma-abuse programme, what happens is the programme in abusers will also start to unravel. Not only are you taking a step towards your own freedom, you are doing your part in undoing the programme within perpetrators of abuse. You are aiding in dismantling the collective programming and making space for a new, elevated, love-based paradigm.
By allowing deeper healing in yourself, you trigger healing for the abusers. Why should you care about that? Abusers are often the abused themselves. This programme gets passed down from generation to generation, meaning increasingly more people are prone to abuses. You have the power to help break this pattern for the collective.
It’s easy to spot the blatant abusers. A war criminal or a child rapist will be hunted down, mobbed and lynched by a public overtaken by outrage. But in some ways the subtle abusers are the most dangerous. Narcissistic love-bombers, energy suckers, manipulators. Those whose actions can more easily be excused away. To me, these are the real perpetrators since they frequently hide behind a façade of goodwill, compassion and humanitarianism. Knowingly or unknowingly, they act from an agenda to break others down, to sabotage the rising of illuminant souls. This is why doing this level of work is so important for the evolution of humanity right now.
If you’re interested to go deeper into this work, check out my online course Unmasking The Shroud.
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