In my last post, I highlighted one of the misguided teachings from mainstream spirituality, the likes of law of attraction and other self-help modalities. This post follows on to show you another element of such teachings that has been commonly accepted as the gospel truth when it is actually misguided.
If you’ve been practising spirituality or self-help for a while (especially if you’ve been immersed in the LOA/manifestations type of teachings), chances are that you have been conditioned to immediately transform a negative statement into a positive one. It has become such a universally-accepted principle that as soon as a negative statement escapes one’s mouth, we can hear a collective gasp before a directive is uttered in unison: State it in the positive!
What if I tell you that stating something in the negative isn’t bad as you have been brainwashed to believe? Mainstream teachings have programmed us into believing that we must never state something in the negative because it would dilute the power of manifesting what you want. Supposedly, your mind focuses on the negative and where your mind focuses you bring into creation, right?
Not really. Here are my counter truths.
#1 Positive for the sake of positive can dilute the power.
Let’s say you are in an undesirable situation and after putting up with it for a long time you want to change things. Which of these statements will have more power?
“I will never allow myself to be used like that again.”
“I want to be surrounded by people who respect and value me.”
“I will not tolerate being in an abusive relationship ever again.”
“I am in a relationship with a woman who loves and respects me.”
“I don’t ever want to do that to anyone again.”
“I am kind, considerate and respectful.”
The phrases stated in the negative are more powerful in sealing off an old behaviour or pattern, and transforming to something new. Those stated in the positive actually have less power. When you decide not to be or act in a certain way, to not have this particular thing in your life – changing the statement to a positive form can lose its meaning and power.
“I do not want to be sick anymore” will often have more power than “I want to be healthy”. Nothing is more powerful than a sincere, impassioned proclamation like, No more!
A typical scenario is when a person who has been in an abusive relationship decides he does not want to tolerate it anymore. Working with a life coach or therapist, he is directed to ‘phrase it in the positive’. “What is the opposite of that?” they ask him. “Turn it into a positive statement.” But the power is lost for the newly-crafted statement. Rather than tapping into where the power really is, one is left with a watered-down version that produces little power to shift reality.
#2 Positive statements are not magical.
Contrary to what most people think, stating something in the negative can create shifts to your reality faster, and in ways that are more magical.
Magical is when something appears beyond what we can easily imagine. These types of shifts are more fulfilling in the long run because they entail an element of surprise, something unexpected, a brilliant twist that astounds and delights us as to its creativity. Conversely, something stated in the positive, about what you desire, only locks in one predictable outcome – one that is desired by the fear-driven and limited ego-mind.
In that moment of deciding no-more or not-to, you trigger infinite streams of potentiality. You are in juicy territory. You are in no hurry to specify the outcome, opting instead for the magical experience of allowing the highest outcome to unravel itself. You will receive guidance and directions on what to pursue and what to give up. New opportunities will show up. Unexpected healings can happen.
Saying no is more than enough. Inside, we are more intelligent than the limited part of us that dictates we need to specify the outcome.
#3 Positive statements without strong boundaries is weak.
Many people state their desires without first enforcing strong boundaries. This causes their energy to leak, which weakens their manifestation power. It can even cause feelings of disempowerment and their minds to spiral to dark places.
When someone is in an undesirable situation, it drains them of energy. These holes need to be sealed before they can access the full resources to shift that reality.
For any true and lasting change to happen, we need to get to the point of having had enough of the existing state. In addictions, it is called rock bottom: when the reality of it is so uncomfortable you truly want to quit, and if you haven’t reached that point internally your efforts and results will be poor. This applies not just to addictions but any undesirable situation.
A weak resolve leaves holes around. When you get to the point of saying, “I’ve had enough!” you secure the boundaries and seal the holes that drain your power. It is a moment of consolidating and rallying your inner resources.
In that moment, you take back your power. You rise to awareness that some part of you had chosen being in that state, and you decide not to anymore. All your powers are back within you; in that state, your higher intelligence kicks in to align everything back to a template of beauty, abundance and magic.
The Art of Harnessing the Power of Deciding-Not-To
Essentially, you simply have to Decide. But it needs to be done with sincerity and felt with heart. It is not enough to just state it.
If you are done being overweight, broke, brutalised, exhausted, procrastinating, people-pleasing…. Decide internally, no more. It’s not about being forceful but how present, sincere and meaningful it is done. Although a strong, aggressive statement can muster the energy to make it potent, often a light touch is all it takes.
When done right, you only need to do it once. It is that powerful. A one-time deciding will turn the tide, summon resources, and shift your reality. It need not be repeated like an affirmation (another technique so commonly touted yet lacking in real power for effecting change).
Lastly, and very importantly, the decision is to be made not from fear but rising above fear, so that you come from the level above fear. You can start deciding while in the realm of fear but the decision, made cleanly, should lift you above fear.
These subtle tweaks will ensure you are truly harnessing the power of stating in the negative, a secret manifestation tool that is overlooked.